Loneliness is a feeling that is within you; you can be around others and still feel lonely. I know for me I need a certain kind of attention or touch and when those needs are not being met I do feel lonely. Personally, I need a certain kind of attention or touch, and when those needs are not being met, I feel lonely.
It is ok to feel lonely sometimes but it becomes a problem once you start to isolate yourself. According to John Cacioppo, loneliness is more dangerous than isolation because it can increase a person’s mortality. My experience with lonely feeling was always when I’m unhappy with myself or feeling worthless. If I’m surrounded by the right people who are encouraging and supporting me, the feeling will fade away, but when I’m surrounded with people who are discouraging I find myself in isolation.
I experience loneliness when I’m unhappy with myself or feeling worthless. If I’m surrounded by the right people who are encouraging and supporting me, the feeling will fade away, but when I’m surrounded with people who are discouraging I find myself in isolation.
Over the years I’ve learned how to subtract people from various areas of my life; everyone is in your life for different reason. My practice is to include each individual at the stage that they are competent to accept and encourage me. It’s very salient to understand that not every stage of our life is meant for everyone. We need to consider that while we are going through each stages of our life, the people around us are going through their own, and might not be able to embrace you the way you desire them to.
Before I make my current situation or journey known to a person, I would ask myself these questions:
- I’m I in the position to be opened minded about their response?
- If not, how bad would my emotions be if the answer was to be negative?
If I answer these 2 questions honestly and I know that the other person’s response will affect me in a negative way, this awareness let know that, I am not ready to share this stage of my life with this person.
In order for me to move forward in my journey, I need to understand the role of each individuals in my life and include them accordingly. I understand that others have the ability to affect my growth due to the fact that I am a work in progress and seeking a better me.
Mentally I am not as strong as I desire to be and might never be, but with self awareness and learning what works and what doesn’t work, assist me to move forward in a healthier way.
It is very important to be able to identify when you are having lonely feelings and knowing what causes these emotions will help you. Loneliness usually means something is missing from your life or something needs to be subtracted from your life.
In life we tend to hold on to people or things that keep us in an unhealthy state of mind because it’s a feeling we get used to and it becomes comforting to us. When we are in this state of mind, we usually don’t believe that we deserve happiness and sadness becomes our friend.
You need to learn how to speak positively to yourself and surround yourself with the people that can speak positivity into your life. Which means, at times you might need to cut some people out of your life, because your relationship with them is unhealthy and this can prevent you from growing or achieving your greatness
Lonely feelings only have power over you if you allow them to. Recognize your lonely feelings and find healthy ways to cope with them.